Rehearsals are in full swing for Anna Bolena. This is the biggest role I've sung.. well, ever. I mean, Carmen was big, but this is just...mahooooosive. I go through stages of thinking "wtf am I playing at, singing this?", then someone in the chorus says something nice and I remember that it's OK and I can and should be singing it. I would not have had several people tell me it should be my rep if I shouldn't be singing it, right? But I still panic.
I panic a lot, really.
I panic that maybe my voice isn't big enough. We had our first rehearsal on the stage over the weekend. I've never sung in that particular theatre, and I'm unsure how my voice will carry. I record the rehearsal on my iPhone from a seat somewhere in the auditorium. I am loud. So loud, in fact, that I sound like I'm standing right next to the phone. Problem solved, worry over. I can carry. Confidence building back up.
I panic that I'll forget all the words. I can sing it through about 98% with only a few holes when I'm in my house testing myself, but at rehearsal my brain empties and I stammer over words. But that's probably because I'm trying to remember blocking at the same time. In a few days, once the blocking is second nature, the words will come back. They are there, it's just allowing them to claw their way out.
I panic that I'll forget all my blocking and walk off the stage into the orchestra pit. Which I know is unlikely to happen. I'm not a complete numpty. I'd stop before I hit the edge of the stage.
I panic that I'll get bad reviews, but honestly I'm not singing it for the reviewers. It's just, you know, my first major role since I switched from mezzo to soprano and I worry...
But at the end of the day, all this panic aside, I'm loving being back in the process. I've not been in a full opera in years. Scenes, sure. Gala concerts, sure. But when I moved over to England in 2004 I gave up singing, so it's been that long since I've tread the boards fully and completely and I realise how much I missed it. Building a character, watching everyone else's characters develop, making friends with the other cast members, laughing with each other over silly mistakes, everyone cheering each other on.. it's one of the great joys of (my) life and I'm glad I've finally found my way back.
The Diary of an Aspiring Soprano
One girls journey to the operatic stage, and her feelings on her chosen profession.
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Show me the money!
I've written about it before, and I'm writing about it again. It's on my mind a lot at the moment, and it's name is Funding. With a
capital F. It’s what it’s all
about. Without funding, there is no
opera. Without opera, there is no
funding. You’re probably thinking,
“wait, that doesn’t make sense….”. Hear
me out.
In July last year, myself and a couple other musicians
embarked on the arduous task of setting up a new opera company. We’re based in Manchester. In the North West, opportunities for opera
seem to sit on opposite sides of the stream.
There are a handful of good amateur companies, which is great. It’s lovely to see so many community people
wanting to be involved in making music.
Professionally we have Opera North and Heritage Opera. Both are excellent in their own ways. However, with the plethora of talent based in
the North West, particularly with the RNCM based in Manchester, opportunities
for people trying to build up their experience but who aren’t quite ready for
Opera North are few and far between.
…and there are a LOT of people looking for more stage experience up in
this neck of the woods. Flabbergasted
one evening from hitting endless walls in where to get some semi-professional
experience Up North, my husband said to me, purely as a throw away comment,
“why not just set up your own company?”
So I did. I gathered together
likeminded musicians, and thus Opera Seria was born.
That was the easy part.
Running an opera company is not cheap. Putting on a fully staged opera is not
cheap. Finding money to do either is
painfully difficult. We’ve hit so many
roadblocks trying to gather up money for the company that it’s almost
comical. From the sponsorship letters
that get ignored, to the grant applications that get replies of “sorry, all out
money is tied up in Royal Opera House/ETO/ENO/[insert major company here]”,
finding money for the company to even begin, let alone grow, has been an uphill
battle.
We decided to stage Donizetti’s Anna Bolena as our first opera.
I wanted to do something that was a bit different. I thought it would be nice to do an opera
that wasn’t regularly performed, and something that wasn’t done by the local
amateur companies every other year (there is enough of La Traviata and The Magic
Flute to go around right now). At
first, we were going to do a concert version.
Then, we thought maybe we could semi-stage it. Then we got ahead of ourselves, and decided
to fully stage it. On the biggest stage
in the North West. Ambitious? Yes.
Insane? Probably. I didn’t just want it to be for the emerging
artists to gain experience, though. I
wanted to bring something to the community.
So we decided to have a community chorus. Suddenly, we had 25 costumes to fund, rather
than 10.
Sitting down with the fees for hiring costumes for every
body on the stage, the fees for the theatre, the fees for the printing, the
fees for the scores - you get the idea - we started pulling our hair out. I’d been rejected for every single grant or sponsorship request I’d submitted. Presumably this was because we are a new
company and had nothing to prove ourselves, but it begs the question – how does
a company prove itself without some funding to help it get off the ground? Thankfully, by the power of twitter, we were
able to find a benefactor to offset a large percentage of the costs for the
first opera. Without him, the project
would have folded before it had even taken off.
I was also able to come up with one corporate sponsor to help us out
with some printing costs, and my mum made a rather generous donation from
America to support my new project, because she is awesome like that. Alas, this was not enough to pull together
our “grand vision” and we now have to face Anna
Bolena in “skrimp and save” mode.
The costumes are not perfect (which, as an archaeologist, pains me), the
set is minimal, the orchestra is slightly reduced and the singers are not
getting paid full wages. But we’re
making it work. Our director is excellent
with lighting, our conductor can turn a smaller orchestra into something
magical and several of us are dab hands with and needle and thread. Still, I worry that people will look at what
we’ve achieved and, instead of praising it for WHAT WE ACHIEVED ON NO MONEY,
will talk about how this costume wasn’t quite right for the period or that horn
section didn’t seem to be as full as it could have been….
This is down to funding.
As a small company, we wouldn’t be able to produce something on par with
the professional companies regardless, but without proper funding we’re not
left with too many options when it comes to the creative process. We have to work with what we can pull
together. It might not be perfect but it
will still be beautiful, and a bloody great achievement.
The currently state of funding for the arts is making it
impossible for small companies to get off the ground, so they are dying
out. I urge anyone who loves opera –
help your smaller companies to stay afloat.
Donate a few quid here and there to help them make up the
difference. Even £2 helps! Co-Opera is doing a really interesting fundraising
drive, “A cup of coffee”. If enough people
donated just the cost of a cup of coffee, they can raise the money they need
for their upcoming season, and give emerging musicians the chance to sing with
a great company. I set up a similar
thing with Opera Seria, with the Privy Council – donate £12 and get a medal and
your name in the programme/on the website.
It’s a bit more than a cup of coffee, but it’s no more than a coffee
plus your lunch out for the day. These
small sums help us small companies to keep going in a time when funding is hard
to get and there are more singers than you can shake a stick at looking for experience. We can’t all start at the top. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I hope
that companies like mine, and Co-Opera and London Youth Opera can continue to
raise enough money to stay active and keep opera alive across the country.
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Just do it.
I haven't had time to blog lately, as I've been to busy doing to spend much time writing about doing.
I was recently featured on Operatoonity. It was a delight to be asked, and I was happy to talk a bit about my journey to the operatic stage. It's been a tumultuous one, but I'm glad I'm back on the opera path. You can read the write-up here: http://operatoonity.com/2012/03/05/soprano-rochelle-hart-following-her-heart-back-to-the-opera-stage/
The path has not been easy, by any means. There has been triumph, there have been tears. Good gigs, awful gigs, and everything in between. Good advice, bad advice and enough conflicting opinions about my voice to drive me up the proverbial wall. I made a great deal of progress during my time re-training in London, then I moved to Manchester and felt like I hit some kind of wall. I stopped enjoying it as much as I know I should have, and I let too many conflicting opinions get me down. Instead of doing it for 'me', I started trying to please everyone, and that doesn't work.
My voice has taken a step backwards in the last few months, and I had a bit of a epiphany at the weekend. I was terribly ill, and should have probably called in a dep and cancelled my Mozart Requiem gig, but it was quite late in the game for that, so I tried to plow forward. I was not as prepared as I'd have liked to have been, having been ill for the majority of my allotted prep time, so I was already nervous. Then there was the illness itself. I'd spent two nights lying awake coughing or unable to sleep due to the hot/cold sweats, and was exhausted. After a session of rehearsal, and a brief break, we started the concert. I got dizzy, I started to get the cold sweats, and it took everything in my not to pass out in mid-phrase. Richard Hansen, my knight in shining tenor armour, managed to keep me afloat, and when I started to white out and couldn't read the page in front of me any more, I was able to lean on him to tune myself in so at least I was singing something until we could sit down again and I could collect myself before the next ensemble. It was not my crowning achievement, I was not in good voice, and I learned a lot about my current state of being that evening. The major thing being - my attempt to please everyone has made it so that at times of great illness or stress, when I need to know that no matter how I feel my voice will push through, my voice is not pushing through. Something I've been doing lately has set me back, and it's not working. It's time for a change.
I was recently featured on Operatoonity. It was a delight to be asked, and I was happy to talk a bit about my journey to the operatic stage. It's been a tumultuous one, but I'm glad I'm back on the opera path. You can read the write-up here: http://operatoonity.com/2012/03/05/soprano-rochelle-hart-following-her-heart-back-to-the-opera-stage/
The path has not been easy, by any means. There has been triumph, there have been tears. Good gigs, awful gigs, and everything in between. Good advice, bad advice and enough conflicting opinions about my voice to drive me up the proverbial wall. I made a great deal of progress during my time re-training in London, then I moved to Manchester and felt like I hit some kind of wall. I stopped enjoying it as much as I know I should have, and I let too many conflicting opinions get me down. Instead of doing it for 'me', I started trying to please everyone, and that doesn't work.
My voice has taken a step backwards in the last few months, and I had a bit of a epiphany at the weekend. I was terribly ill, and should have probably called in a dep and cancelled my Mozart Requiem gig, but it was quite late in the game for that, so I tried to plow forward. I was not as prepared as I'd have liked to have been, having been ill for the majority of my allotted prep time, so I was already nervous. Then there was the illness itself. I'd spent two nights lying awake coughing or unable to sleep due to the hot/cold sweats, and was exhausted. After a session of rehearsal, and a brief break, we started the concert. I got dizzy, I started to get the cold sweats, and it took everything in my not to pass out in mid-phrase. Richard Hansen, my knight in shining tenor armour, managed to keep me afloat, and when I started to white out and couldn't read the page in front of me any more, I was able to lean on him to tune myself in so at least I was singing something until we could sit down again and I could collect myself before the next ensemble. It was not my crowning achievement, I was not in good voice, and I learned a lot about my current state of being that evening. The major thing being - my attempt to please everyone has made it so that at times of great illness or stress, when I need to know that no matter how I feel my voice will push through, my voice is not pushing through. Something I've been doing lately has set me back, and it's not working. It's time for a change.
I had a consultation session with Ukranian soprano Nataliya Kompaniyets-Jouri last night. She figured out immediately what I'd started doing wrong and within a 45 minute session I felt I was well on the way to fixing it. I'm not feeling well still, but we sang through a few lines of Lucia di Lammermoor and it felt free. Like it should do. Applying this to my Anna Bolena rehearsing today, and I know that she's put me back to rights. It will take a few weeks to undo whatever it was I've started doing, but now I'm back on the right path. This, paired with comments I got from Jeremy Silver at a Bolena coaching a couple weeks ago, let me know i'm on the right path and I need to relax, trust my technique and just do it. How many times have I echoed what Chris Cowell said to me once: Open Gob, Sing?
It's just as well, since Anna Bolena is in just over 2 months. It's my full role debut as a soprano, so I'm going to be stressed out about it. So I need to know my voice will be reliable even with the stress. With the tools Nataliya has given me, and the advice from Jeremy, I know it's going to work now. And not just work, but it's going to be the best I've sung in ages. I'm excited. It's going to be awesome. I finally feel excited about singing again.
Saturday, 3 March 2012
New home!
I realise it's been some time since my last blog. Life has been a bit crazy lately! I hope to be able to sit and write a bit more this month, but we shall see if that actually happens!
We moved house over the course of the last 10 days. It's been quite a whirl wind. Still living out of boxes in several rooms, but it's so nice to have our own house again. Our flat was lovely but we do enjoy our own space that we can do what we want with.
I have a music room in the new house and am delighted that the acoustics are great. It's been a long time since I had a room good for singing and I finally do! I have been busy singing in Anna Bolena before rehearsals start in May. We are having a master class with Jeremy Silver at the end of the month for the show which is also exciting.
I also recently started learning the role of Cleopatra. I never imagined I would sing Handel, but I love it!
We are getting a dog on Monday which is going to be a lot of work but I am looking forward to having mascot to take running with me.
And that's all I have to say. Hopefully more exciting blogs to follow now we are getting settled.
Do come see Opera Twala on 28 April! It's going to be a fun show with my fellow singers Heather Lupton, Helen Gregory, Anna-Louise Costello, Ben Thapa and Richard Jones. It's in Pimlico. Come on down!!!!
We moved house over the course of the last 10 days. It's been quite a whirl wind. Still living out of boxes in several rooms, but it's so nice to have our own house again. Our flat was lovely but we do enjoy our own space that we can do what we want with.
I have a music room in the new house and am delighted that the acoustics are great. It's been a long time since I had a room good for singing and I finally do! I have been busy singing in Anna Bolena before rehearsals start in May. We are having a master class with Jeremy Silver at the end of the month for the show which is also exciting.
I also recently started learning the role of Cleopatra. I never imagined I would sing Handel, but I love it!
We are getting a dog on Monday which is going to be a lot of work but I am looking forward to having mascot to take running with me.
And that's all I have to say. Hopefully more exciting blogs to follow now we are getting settled.
Do come see Opera Twala on 28 April! It's going to be a fun show with my fellow singers Heather Lupton, Helen Gregory, Anna-Louise Costello, Ben Thapa and Richard Jones. It's in Pimlico. Come on down!!!!
Monday, 16 January 2012
Plowed in Minibus
OAE: The Glory of Venice, QEH 13 Jan 2012
Julia Doyle (soprano), Daniel Auchincloss (tenor), Robert Howarth (director), Queen Elizabeth Hall
Over the weekend, I went down to London to see the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment for a concert of various numbers by Gabrieli, Fontana, Monteverdi and Marini. I must admit, I left not feeling terribly enlightened.
Julia Doyle (soprano), Daniel Auchincloss (tenor), Robert Howarth (director), Queen Elizabeth Hall
Over the weekend, I went down to London to see the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment for a concert of various numbers by Gabrieli, Fontana, Monteverdi and Marini. I must admit, I left not feeling terribly enlightened.
The first problem was the location. We were not in Venice. We were in the Queen Elizabeth Hall. The QEH has a pretty dry acoustic, and no free-flowing air. So while there is nothing for sound to 'bounce' on, in the way it would do at, say, St Mark's in Venice, there is also stifling air which plays havoc with tuning period instruments.
One of the notes I scribbled in my programme was "horny". Not because the music was making me feel a bit randy, but because the horn section were overpowering. It was almost as if they'd decided the concert was all about them and singers and strings be damned. At parts, all I could hear were the bloody horns! Sometimes one was flat, at other times some were out of time.. it was a bit..interesting.
Flipping through the programme, it was noted that someone's Latin wasn't entirely up to scratch, given the number of errors to be found in the printing of the motets. The most laughable one, however, was "plaudit minibus", which gave us all a bit of a chuckle.
Also, I wasn't entirely convinced by the soprano. She had a very...pure voice, but she sometimes appeared to struggle to keep up with the instrumentalists. There was one point where she looked completely lost in the pages, her coloratura sounded a bit barked on longer melismas and he top notes didn't have enough overtones to be heard over the orchestra. That being said, I think she has the makings of a lovely voice, but perhaps she's spent too long as a chorister. The acoustics at the QEH don't help, obviously.
However, it wasn't all bad. The violins did some beautiful work together on their sonatas. Apart from one being a bit screechy from time to time, they came together quite movingly. I can forgive the odd screech for a moving and heartfelt performance. I believed them. I didn't get that from the rest of the ensemble.
The tenor, Dan Auchincloss, was the main reason we'd gone to see this concert. I've known him on facebook and twitter for ages, but have yet to see him sing in anything. I was pleasantly surprised. I knew he was going to be good, but he was good! He pulled out all the stops, and had an excellent range of notes and colours. His haute-contre work was exceptional, while his lower range was rich and rang out. He made the coloratura runs look easy, like he eats them for breakfast. I was thoroughly impressed.
All in all it was an interesting event. It had it's highs and it's lows. I don't think this was the venue for it. Had we been in a church or a hall with more ring to the acoustic, it would have worked. In the QEH, it just came over a bit..limp.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
What's up, 2012?
Happy New Year (a few days late, mind)!
2012 is the year that I finally get to sing a number of full roles, rather than a mass of opera scenes. I must admit, it's been a while. I sang a handful of full roles in the US, before I took my hiatus from opera. Upon returning to the art to be told that I am, in fact, not a mezzo soprano but a soprano, I went about the task of trying to find my new voice, get used to it and, well, figure out what I should be singing. I had a whole new repertoire to learn! This was a lengthy process that caused much debate amongst the people I sang for/with. I made the decision not to try and fling myself into too many full roles until I was comfortable with who I was as a singer again, regardless of what anyone else thought of me or what I should be singing. I used the past couple years as a bit of a 'retraining' exercise. I knew technically what I should be doing, but I wanted to be confident that I was doing it...if you know what I mean.
I've spent these past 2 years doing a number of opera scenes, studying arias from the important soprano roles that I think I'll be able to sing over the next few years and performing in concerts, recitals, choruses and, well, anywhere I could. I've re-discovered my acting abilities, built my stamina back up and figured out where I want to point myself musically. Experimenting with repertoire has been a fun process, if not painful at times, and I've learned a lot about myself as an artist in the processes.
Bringing us to 2012. I spent the latter part of 2011 trying to elbow my way into full roles. I had a great deal of success. Sure, I'm not singing with Glyndebourne or anything, but I'm not going to shrug off what opportunities I have been given. Anna Bolena is a start. It's one of those roles I picked up when I first came back to music. I think the historical context of it called to me. During my break from singing, I studied archaeology and history. My main focal points were Roman and Egyptian archaeology, but I always hungered for Tudor history and always found myself studying it whenever I could. Coming back to music, I was immediately drawn to Anna Bolena, Aida, and Tosca. It was like pairing my old love with my new love. I could have my archaeology and my opera both. You can take the girl out of archaeology.....
I'm not going to sing Aida any time soon, if at all, and Tosca is still up for debate (I will sing it in it's full glory, but when? How long do I wait for my 'new' voice to catch up before throwing myself at it in full?). I'm cool with that. Things take time. I am patient. What I am going to sing is a lot of in 2012 is Donizetti and Mozart. I seem to have fallen into a niche. I am OK with this niche. This niche is pretty awesome, and still caters to my love of history (even if some of the plots aren't historically accurate..but that's another post for another day..).
So we're now 11 days into 2012, and I finally know categorically who I am as an artist, and I'm ready for this year of opportunities and challenges. I'm looking forward to throwing myself completely into the lives of Anna Bolena, Fiordiligi and Donna Anna, etc. This is going to be a fun year.
2012 is the year that I finally get to sing a number of full roles, rather than a mass of opera scenes. I must admit, it's been a while. I sang a handful of full roles in the US, before I took my hiatus from opera. Upon returning to the art to be told that I am, in fact, not a mezzo soprano but a soprano, I went about the task of trying to find my new voice, get used to it and, well, figure out what I should be singing. I had a whole new repertoire to learn! This was a lengthy process that caused much debate amongst the people I sang for/with. I made the decision not to try and fling myself into too many full roles until I was comfortable with who I was as a singer again, regardless of what anyone else thought of me or what I should be singing. I used the past couple years as a bit of a 'retraining' exercise. I knew technically what I should be doing, but I wanted to be confident that I was doing it...if you know what I mean.
I've spent these past 2 years doing a number of opera scenes, studying arias from the important soprano roles that I think I'll be able to sing over the next few years and performing in concerts, recitals, choruses and, well, anywhere I could. I've re-discovered my acting abilities, built my stamina back up and figured out where I want to point myself musically. Experimenting with repertoire has been a fun process, if not painful at times, and I've learned a lot about myself as an artist in the processes.
Bringing us to 2012. I spent the latter part of 2011 trying to elbow my way into full roles. I had a great deal of success. Sure, I'm not singing with Glyndebourne or anything, but I'm not going to shrug off what opportunities I have been given. Anna Bolena is a start. It's one of those roles I picked up when I first came back to music. I think the historical context of it called to me. During my break from singing, I studied archaeology and history. My main focal points were Roman and Egyptian archaeology, but I always hungered for Tudor history and always found myself studying it whenever I could. Coming back to music, I was immediately drawn to Anna Bolena, Aida, and Tosca. It was like pairing my old love with my new love. I could have my archaeology and my opera both. You can take the girl out of archaeology.....
I'm not going to sing Aida any time soon, if at all, and Tosca is still up for debate (I will sing it in it's full glory, but when? How long do I wait for my 'new' voice to catch up before throwing myself at it in full?). I'm cool with that. Things take time. I am patient. What I am going to sing is a lot of in 2012 is Donizetti and Mozart. I seem to have fallen into a niche. I am OK with this niche. This niche is pretty awesome, and still caters to my love of history (even if some of the plots aren't historically accurate..but that's another post for another day..).
So we're now 11 days into 2012, and I finally know categorically who I am as an artist, and I'm ready for this year of opportunities and challenges. I'm looking forward to throwing myself completely into the lives of Anna Bolena, Fiordiligi and Donna Anna, etc. This is going to be a fun year.
Friday, 30 December 2011
C'est la vie, 2011
2011 has been a...trying year, not just musically but personally as well. The biggest change was my husband and I moving from London to Manchester over the summer. After 6ish years in London, I can't say I was terribly sad to see the backside of it. I have a pretty love-hate relationship with the city. I absolutely adore it, but I can't bear to live within it's borders. I grew up in what is a relatively small city in the Northwest of America, where people are laid back and trains run on time. London doesn't really agree with my sensibilities. But she's great to visit, and to do the odd job in, and I met some wonderful people there (including my husband). So for that, I can't fault her.
Aside from moving, I lost my 'day job', my mum was diagnosed with cancer (thankfully it was caught early and she is going to be OK), I was 're-fach'd' about three times, I struggled with some health issues myself early in the year.. 2011 was, to put it bluntly - difficult.
There were many auditions. Probably more auditions than I've ever done wrapped up into one year. There were a few minor triumphs, and a lot of defeats. There were many gallons of wine consumed over many hours of lamenting about the future with friends. Several ideas were conjured up in the car during commutes to rehearsals, some of which are now moving full-steam ahead.
Now we turn our attentions to 2012. Usually I spend a lot of time lamenting about the past. The "what-if's" in life. Where would I be if I'd nailed that audition? What would have happened had I not lost my job? Who saw me bomb an audition that's going to remember me forever and never, ever want to hire me again? Will so-and-so remember the stupid thing I said when I was drunk at the pub after closing night?
Not so, 2012. After tomorrow, I'm officially drawing a line under 2011 and not looking back. I made some personal progress over the year, but there is no sense wallowing in not being given any roles with the festival companies or not being able to go to certain auditions that might have been "the one" because I was ill.. everything happens for a reason. Besides, I can't complain too much. 2012 is lining up to be a pretty triumphant year. Sure, I may be money poor, but I'm going to get to sing a lot and that's what it's all about. Besides, I get to waltz around in a Tudor dress and sing one of my favourite roles in 2012. How bad can it be?
I also get to move into a shiny new house to fit into the new life in Manchester. I'm getting a dog. I'm designing costumes and sets. I'm singing with some awesome people, and plotting musical world domination with some excellent friends I've made in late-2011..
I'm looking forward to 2012. So C'est la vie, 2011. You sucked, but I'm not going to wallow in it. I'm going to take what little good you did give me and run with it (quite literally, as I have a 10k race in May that I need to train for), and have an awesome 2012.
-----
Things I'm singing (so far) in 2012:
Handel's Messiah
Mozart's Requiem
#OperaTwala
Anna Bolena
Fiordiligi
Donna Anna
Micaela
Aside from moving, I lost my 'day job', my mum was diagnosed with cancer (thankfully it was caught early and she is going to be OK), I was 're-fach'd' about three times, I struggled with some health issues myself early in the year.. 2011 was, to put it bluntly - difficult.
There were many auditions. Probably more auditions than I've ever done wrapped up into one year. There were a few minor triumphs, and a lot of defeats. There were many gallons of wine consumed over many hours of lamenting about the future with friends. Several ideas were conjured up in the car during commutes to rehearsals, some of which are now moving full-steam ahead.
Now we turn our attentions to 2012. Usually I spend a lot of time lamenting about the past. The "what-if's" in life. Where would I be if I'd nailed that audition? What would have happened had I not lost my job? Who saw me bomb an audition that's going to remember me forever and never, ever want to hire me again? Will so-and-so remember the stupid thing I said when I was drunk at the pub after closing night?
Not so, 2012. After tomorrow, I'm officially drawing a line under 2011 and not looking back. I made some personal progress over the year, but there is no sense wallowing in not being given any roles with the festival companies or not being able to go to certain auditions that might have been "the one" because I was ill.. everything happens for a reason. Besides, I can't complain too much. 2012 is lining up to be a pretty triumphant year. Sure, I may be money poor, but I'm going to get to sing a lot and that's what it's all about. Besides, I get to waltz around in a Tudor dress and sing one of my favourite roles in 2012. How bad can it be?
I also get to move into a shiny new house to fit into the new life in Manchester. I'm getting a dog. I'm designing costumes and sets. I'm singing with some awesome people, and plotting musical world domination with some excellent friends I've made in late-2011..
I'm looking forward to 2012. So C'est la vie, 2011. You sucked, but I'm not going to wallow in it. I'm going to take what little good you did give me and run with it (quite literally, as I have a 10k race in May that I need to train for), and have an awesome 2012.
-----
Things I'm singing (so far) in 2012:
Handel's Messiah
Mozart's Requiem
#OperaTwala
Anna Bolena
Fiordiligi
Donna Anna
Micaela
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